Emo

Completely emo at the moment. Perhaps going through the photos on my external hard drive was not the best thing to do.

I miss my parents and don't know if I can stand living in Melbourne long term. My homesickness has been getting increasingly worse over the years, especially after graduating. I am seized by panic at the thought that I may not be able to go home every year.

At the same time, I can't imagine going back to KL for good. I hardly know the place. But maybe all I need to do is make the effort to get to know KL better... to give it the same chance I gave Melbourne.

It doesn't feel right being so far from my family... I know I have relatives here, which is better off than those who are all alone in a foreign land ... but somehow it is just different.

The truth is when I left KL this time, I had to force myself to board that plane. I'm scared that someday when I find myself in that situation again, I will make the split decision to stay and just leave everything in Melbourne.

But maybe I will feel differently about Melbourne when John arrives. We are so close to being together that it is almost unreal.